Ladies, it's been a minute I know!
It's hard to find that God, work, work, life, friends, family, and blogger life, balance. In two weeks or less I'll share whats been going on in my life thus far. However as of now I'll give you something to hold on to until then!
Let's just skip the small talk and get right too it boo! I don't usually talk about my love life because uhh H E L L O it's like basically nonexistent, however when it comes down to it, I had a F*CK BOY situation about 3 months ago. Is there another word to call them? No I think not! UGGHHHHHH I can't stand them, those F*ck Boys! Anyways heres the scoop:
A couple of months ago I went out on Cinco De Mayo day, really didn't want too, but my friend made me *side eyes friend.* I wasn't drinking because I was driving home and I really wasn't in the party mood, even if the party was to celebrate my favorite foods culture! Anyway, I honestly looked hella cute but was sitting in a corner running up my data (sorry dad!) plan while on Snapchat (@hellosilhouette.) My friend yells at me "come dance Josie!" I rolled my eyes and huffed and puffed all the way too her and did some light dance moves and I was done! All of a sudden this really cute 6'0 guy (inserts a million heart eye emojis) starts dancing with me and my friend. Usually if I'm not interested, I'll just pretend they aren't there and continue dancing with my friends. Man, he was different *insert f*ck boys pathetic name there*. My mind was going a little crazy because 1. I thought he was really cute -which hasn't happened in a while, 2. He was a good dancer, and 3. He said that I looked cute, I had enticing red lips and he loved my natural hair. *pause break because natural hair is hard enough to tame and the chances finding someone that appreciates my beautiful natural hair is HARD to find. Again my mind was going cray!
Before I knew it I was happy my friend dragged me out that night. Within an hour f*ck boy and I danced like no one was watching, he made me laugh immensely and boy could he make me smile, also we kissed.... and yes sparks did fly! We exchanged numbers and shortly after, f*ck boy, my friends and I moved on to another bar. With in minutes, he's calling me asking where I went, of course I told him and he met me there. Instead of coming in he asked if I wanted to take a walk... why I said yes I. DONT. KNOW. (I should've known better obvi.) We walked the lit up streets of Mill Ave. Hand in hand until we reached a semi secluded area with a bench. We sat down and we just started talking and laughing what seemed like only 30 minutes turned into 2 WHOLE HOURS! I was impressed! The fact that he ditched his friends to hang out with me kinda felt awesome!! It was time for me to go, he said he would like to see me again and kissed me, and like a gentleman (or so I thought) walked me back to my friends. I was so giddy, it was sickening. -like what the hell Josie! I just haven't felt this way in God knows how long! I felt like I was living a fairy tail. He had so many qualities I like in a guy, he was just perfect!! We didn't exchange any social media because as you know social media ruins relationships *raises hand* because my last relationship was ruined b/c of SM! Plus I wanted to get to know him on a real level, not what he portrayed on social media and vice versa! Over the course of an almost month, he texted me every morning and almost every night and of course during the day too. He took me on a couple of dates, where we ate pizza, and sang to each other over drinks and gazed into each others eyes! He told me that I could meet his friends at an upcoming event, I freaking met his best friend, his pit bull, who was omgggg so cute! We talked about our likes and dislikes, our favorite candy, movies, cooking for each other, and everything under the hot Arizona sun. You probably think I am making this up, but I'm not! This was basically the closest I've gotten to a guy in a really long time in such short amount of time. I was truly happy, in our "talking" phase which by the way HE said it first, then all of a sudden it stopped. One thing about me is that, yes, I do like those texts all day long but, I don't absolutely need them! So when he stopped texting me, at first I wasn't phased. However after a week went by, I definitely started to worry! I think I texted him about 2 times and then I just gave up! Like, if you didn't want to talk to me anymore, then literally just say so! However a couple days later I was on my Snapchat and saw that he had one - don't forget we didn't exchange names so I was bold and added him. Guess what? The next day he added me back and within seconds sent me a message. "Hey Josie!! I'm so sorry, my phone fell in water and I didn't have my phone for a while!" I gave him the benefit of the doubt because I myself have dropped my phone in water, and have been without a phone for a while too. So I messaged him back "It's all good! Glad you got your phone situated!" He opened it and didn't message back... That was the last time we talked. I messaged him one last time to kind of see if he would text, but yet again no text back. Alright f*ck boy, point taken! That was 3 months ago, it was hard to let go of the chemistry we had ,but you know what he still watches my snap stories.. so that tells me he's NOSEY!!
I'm not gonna lie, I really liked f*ck boy, like a lot, a lot! From talking, hanging out, making out, and then texting almost every day to completely zilch, nada, NOTHING, I was semi depressed lol! Even my mother and some coworkers noticed a change in me! The reason being is that I hadn't let my guard down in a long while and I'm mad I did that for him. I'm mad that he affected my work ability, I'm mad that I waisted my cute clothes on him, I'm mad I waisted my beautiful lipstick on him! I'm just M. A. D .!!!!!!!
Although I'm mad, (not anymore) I realized that this was a hard learning experience for me. I'm such a hopeless romantic! A hopeless romantic who gets blinded majority of the time when a cute boy complements my natural hair!! I need to take a step back and continue to focus on my mantra for the year!! Then when God is ready for THE RIGHT GUY to enter my life, I'll be ready! Remember ladies: at the end of the day a f*ck boy is always gonna be a f*ck boy so, D R E S S OHHHH SO F I E R C E, GET F I T, (I'm writing this after my workout I'm pretty drenched! 3 pounds lost so far) LOOSE THAT W E I G H T, AND L O V E YOU BOO! OH AND IF YOU NEED TOO, TELL HIM BOY BYE -Thanks Queen Bey!
Thanks for letting me rant and looking fierce at the same time!!
Have a great weekend, and cop my outfit below!